Metrics

Parameters or measures of quantitative assessment.

Having been in quality control I used them all the time. Then when I started working with SEO and pay per click stuff in my current job, I realised there was no measure of success or failure for the money the company was paying a large search engine, so I sought a way of doing so with metrics.

Those of you familiar with my plight know that I left this job last September for 4 months, going to a new job which lasted all of 4 weeks. I spent three months out of work.

I employed a strict regime of job search and believe me I wasn't fussy in what I applied for.

One of my web posse advised my cv was too long and I shouldn't have stuff on there that was over ten years old. Sad thing was, some of my best work was over ten years ago and after that, I was in one particular job for ten years.

I went along with the advice and that coupled with applying for more than 150 jobs a month, I did get 4 or 5 interviews.

Two of those I recall were jobs which not only could I have done exceptionally well, but also have had a great time building something from nothing. Both interviews went really well (in my opinion) in fact the first one a few days before Christmas, I left walking on air, it went that well. I didn't get to second interview with either.

The only conclusion I can draw is my age is standing in my way. My cv being shorter than it had been, possibly suggesting I'm a lot younger than I am which at least got me to interview.

It's frustrating and puzzling, because let's look at this a different way.

Your central heating boiler at home dies on you. A flick through the Yellow pages you find a local repair person and call, seeing they've 20+ years repairing your brand of boiler.

The company can send someone out in the time period you want and the price quoted is acceptable and then in true employer style (because you are employing them to mend your boiler), you ask how old the engineer doing the job is.

Stupid isn't it ?

But that is precisely what is happening out there in the world of work.

Regular soapbox readers will be no strangers to my disdain for another spanner in the works involved in finding a job, the agency. I've had to get tough with some of them in recent months, because they will really have you running all over the shop not in their zeal to find you a suitable job, but in a frenzy to earn a commission at all costs.

The way agencies run is an utter disgrace and between them they not only have the jobs market sewn up, but fucked up too.

But that's another story so let's not digress.

The work I do, I feel, is of a high standard. Also biggest part of it is out there in the public domain. Taking this into account, I decided as part of my job search activity, I would design an interactive show reel of my creative work. A PDF with built in links to blog posts, web pages and films I've made.

I've got this on a server a bit like Dropbox and whenever I apply for something for which the show reel is relevant, I work in the URL.

Unfortunately for the reviewer of my application, it involves copying and pasting the URL into a browser which is something I explain to help them out.

If they download it, I can review on the server how many downloads (the metric) there's been.

Earlier in the year when I was applying for those 150 plus jobs a month I checked on a regular basis to see how many downloads this file had received and much to my disappointment saw the counter hadn't moved off zero.

The lazy self satisfied bastards can't even be bothered to review content relative to the posts being applied for. I find this inability to highlight a line of text, hit ctrl C then in a browser hit ctrl V and follow the link unbelievable.

In this case, I don't even think it is age relevant, it's just like pigs in shit. They have so many people looking for work, they speed read the applications.

I'm only a gnat's cock away from putting a nude pic in my cv just to attract their attention, because there's no longer a Woolworth's on the high street who's window where I could similarly demonstrate my desperation to be noticed.

I find it very sad that employers, many have which have thriving HR departments, just can't be arsed to source their own new employees, considering that these days agencies do absolutely nothing for their fee,

As for the age thing, I do have a pet theory rather like Anne Elk's theory on Brontosauruses. Mine's as straightforward as hers and it is; maybe a boss who's younger than the underling is nervous of being upstaged by wisdom and experience ?

If I'm right, then it doesn't hold out much for any sort of manager and their team building skills feeling so threatened.

For those curious as to the details of the other theory. Ahem,

Most Brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle and thin at the other end.

Anne Elk