The conversations I have...

Had a swifty with OBC on Friday night and as part of the pub conversation, he asked what I was up to at the weekend.

"Washing, ironing, housework, sleep" I replied.

"Don't you ever think your life is passing you by" ? was the response.

"No one's going to do that stuff for me". Then I said that when / if I get a car on the road I will be able to get out and about more.

"What's the one thing I have a passion for that I do a lot of" ? I enquired.

Just as the reply was forming on his whiskery old kisser, I said "you say wanking, I'll break your nose".

"Photography", came his reply. But I know he'd been thinking the former, ode goat.

Then on Saturday morning as he was off to check on his boat, he rang me and had the cheek to suggest I wasn't doing anything, which was the proverbial red rag to a bull.

I'd been out at 6am, up to Bob the Butchers, back by 8, a bit of brekky, then out back into town to renew my bus pass, home then three hours work online which he knows I do each Saturday, before a short kip.

But of course, that doesn't count in his scheme of things.